Everyone wants to fall in love with someone and have them in their life for a long time. Let’s face it, being alone sometimes sucks. So when we finally meet someone we really like, we are hopeful it will work. We want it to work so bad at times, that we ignore the nagging voice in our heads that tell us something is just not right.
So, how do we know he’s worth it and he’s a keeper? I give you seven signs that tell you he’s a keeper and worth the extra effort.
1. You’re attracted to him. Notice I didn’t say he had to be attractive, because I truly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Having said that, I believe that you must also find this person attractive and appealing. You can be very fond of someone, but if they don’t float your boat or turn your wheel, what are you keeping them around for? Not only do we each deserve love and affection, we also deserve passion.
2. He keeps his word. He calls when he says he’s going to call; he arranges a time to see you and he shows up on time. If he does cancel, he quickly reschedules your date for the next time. However, if he cancels and reschedules your date around “booty call” hours, drop him like a bad habit. If he can’t even keep his word for a date, then he definitely will not keep his word for more important things in life.
3. He’s honest. If you have caught him in a few lies, then its time to kick him to the curb. If he lied about where he was last night, then he will surely lie about who he was with. Be honest with yourself, who needs that type of drama? Honesty is a virtue that everyone should have, especially someone you want to give your heart to.
4. He comes from a similar background as you. Okay, I’m not being snobbish, but I have personally seen how if you and your boo do not come from similar backgrounds, there could be strife in your relationship somewhere. Couples who are from different religious backgrounds will undoubtedly have disagreements when it comes to major milestones in your life, especially if the two of you decide to get married and have children. In addition, your educational backgrounds should be similar, especially if you have a college degree. Do I think you’re smarter if you have more degrees, no, but your educational background will have an enormous impact on your earning power. If you cohabitate or marry, then the range of career opportunities available to your mate, will have a huge impact on your household.
5. He spends quality time with you. This doesn’t mean time spent between the sheets. I’m talking about quality time spent getting to know each other better, sharing your dreams and goals with each other and having conversations about real life matters. If a man is truly interested in you and wants to be in your life, he’s going to make time to spend with you. He will plan dates to be with you and he will keep them even if it’s inconvenient for him. Yes we all have to work; yes we all have family obligations, but just be honest with yourself – we allwill make time for the things that matter to us. So if work, baby mommas and helping his friends move gets in the way of him spending time with you, then keep it moving, he’s not that into you.
6. His financial house is in order. Does your man have a steady job or is he selling DVDs on the side of the road? Now I’m not one to knock down anyone’s hustle, but if he keeps hitting you up for loans, then you need to turn around and run. I’m not saying that he has to make six figures, but he has to be sensible when it comes to money. He may look good riding around in that Mercedes, but how cute is it for him to live in his momma’s basement because he can’t afford to pay rent and his car note? If you live beyond your means, you will be broke no matter how big your salary is. A man who pays his bills on time and makes wise financial decisions is a man who will someday make a great husband and father. Let’s think about it. If money is an issue for him, this will put a damper on how much time you spend together. If he’s broke, either you’re going to have to foot the bill or you’ll spend a lot of Friday nights at home – alone.
7. He’s free from addictions – alcohol, drugs and sex. Addictions are very difficult to handle and they wreck the lives of all they touch. There is no cure to alcohol or drug addiction. People can manage their cravings, go to meetings and join support groups, but the threat of the person falling back to addiction is real. It is just as hard on the people that are around them. Save yourself the heartache, because they will always crave their addiction more than they crave you, so get out now. You will not win.
Do you agree or disagree with this list? Am I missing anything? Chime in the comments section below.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/93963757@N05/8550837925/”>LyndaSanchez</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>