If you are like a lot of women over thirty, you feel as if your biological clock is ticking loud enough for everyone to hear. The noise seem to grow louder when you get over 35 and you find yourself desperately seeking a companion to share your life with.
So, how do you find a man when you’re in your 30s?
Well, let me tell you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you want to find love, you will find it. If you’re patient and you stick to your convictions, you are bound to find someone who will be the love of your life. I promise you. I mean there are billions of people in the world – all you need to do is fine 1.
The odds are forever in your favor.
To assist you in the dating world as a single woman, I have developed 10 dating tips that will help you to find Mr. Right, and not just Mr. Right Now.
Get a Life
If you’re sitting at home alone on the weekend because you don’t have a date, then you are definitely allowing life to pass you by. Just because you are single doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun. Call up one of your girlfriends and have a girls’ night out or go to that museum exhibit that no one but you is interested in. Look at being single as the best time to live life on your terms. Not only will you become a more interesting person, but you may find a handsome fella who enjoys the same things you do.
Create a Realistic List
Do you know of women who create these long lists of all the qualifications their men need to have in order for them to give them the time of day? I do, and most of them are unrealistic. In fact, a lot of them are downright comical and can help sum up why these women are single in the first place. If that’s you, I’m about to hurt your feelings.
When looking for a partner, look for men that have certain qualities such as faithfulness, honesty and a strong sense of family. Wanting your man to be 6′ 2″, caramel complected with dimples and is a millionaire is unrealistic. Can you find a man like that? Sure, but he probably won’t want you. He’s out there looking for someone with a pretty face and an itty-bitty waist. And if you do find him, he’s probably out there cheating looking for someone that fits his list.
When I was younger, I always wanted a man who was within 5 years of my age, college educated, and sexy as hell. I mean at one point I was into pretty boys. What I found out later is that the men who treated me the best were those who didn’t fit that package. The men I still adore to this day were not my type just because they were college educated (though most were) or sexy (because they are). They were faithful, they were funny, they were honest and they treated me like I was a queen. The same qualities I look for in my husband-to-be.
Create a list of qualities you want in a future husband because it’s no use finding a sexy millionaire if he’s never home because he’s working or out there having affairs.
Work on You
If you have issues, then you need to spend time working on those before you bring someone else into the mix. Have daddy issues or can’t get over your ex? See a counselor. Gained weight? Start exercising again and work on your diet. Hate your job? Update your skills and start sending out resumes.
If you’re not happy with your life or how you feel about yourself, you’re opening the floodgate for a lot of men who prey on women with low self-esteem. You’ll find trolls vying for your attention and blocking your view of good quality men. No one wants to get into a relationship with someone who is “damaged” unless they are too.
Think on that for a second.
Create a Dating Plan and Stick to It
If you haven’t had any luck finding a man, then it’s time to switch things up a bit. If you’re looking for a companion in the church to no avail, then it’s time to try something new. Same thing goes if you’re one of the last few ladies standing at the bar before it closes. Realize that whatever you’re doing now is not working and create a plan to change it.
Go out two nights a week instead of one. Try online dating. A lot of women balk at dating online, either because of personal experience or from hearing horror stories from their friends. I believe this can be a great source for finding men to date. Online dating allow you access to more men than you might meet going about your daily business. The problem I find with online dating is that women get online to find a man and throw out all common sense out the window. Speaking to someone through a computer screen can give you a false sense of security. So do your due diligence. A man who lies becomes more comfortable lying when they’re hiding behind a “Your Hot Date Tonight” profile.
A friend of mine hit the 40 mark and was desperate to find a husband. All her friends were no longer single and she felt like fish out of the water. So, what did she do? She met a man, dated him for a few months and married him.
First of all, she was successful, made a good income and owned her own home. He was a recent divorcee, living in an apartment, and waffled between jobs. Second, he was younger and it was obvious he wasn’t ready to settle down. So what happened after they married? He wrecked her credit, put her in so much debt she had to get a second job and he cheated on her with many women.
Now I don’t know what she’s feeling now, but I’m sure she wishes she had waited. If she slowed down and spent the time to get to know him better, she would have seen the warning signs on the wall. I’m sure if his big head wasn’t in the way, she would have found someone who complemented her a lot better than this chump.
So, don’t make the same mistake. Loneliness can make women rush into situations that have long term consequences. Trust me, being patient and making wise decisions in dating will yield great results.
I hope these dating tips were helpful because I will return with the last five tips in my next post.
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