Is It Time to Call It Quits? How to know when the relationship is over and when you should give up on it.
I have been going back and forth with a man who I met awhile ago through a mutual friend. Physically he wasn’t my type. Our paths would have never crossed if not for the introduction. What he had going for him, however, was his personality. He was very charismatic. He was funny and easy to talk to. Our relationship developed pretty quickly and became hot and heavy real fast.
He promised me the world throughout our short courtship. He wanted to buy me this and he wanted to take me around the world to see that. I was excited because let’s face it, what girl doesn’t dream of being showered with gifts and affection?
Well, that’s what it was. Just a dream. His actions never met up with his words. He never followed through with his promises. He would get my hopes up. He would ask me for my favorite color and the size I wore, but I would never see an outfit.
He would ask me what type of perfume I like to wear, but then I wouldn’t see a bottle unless I purchased it for myself. I never received a present for any holiday, including my birthday.
I remember one afternoon he called me telling me to get dressed because he was going to take me out to dinner. He said he would call me after he got off of work. Hours later, I was back in my nightgown flicking through Netflix, because he didn’t call.
Days later he gave some sorry excuse as to why we didn’t go out. Though I was mad about being stood up, I was angrier with him for not calling or letting me know something.
I told him that he wasn’t going to do that to me anymore and if he did I would walk.
Well, of course, he called my bluff.
One day I heard on the radio that my favorite comedian was coming to town. I knew that no matter what, I was going to go and see him. So, I went online and purchased tickets. I purchased two because I knew he would want to go. When I told him about it, he sounded excited.
Days leading up to the event, he stopped calling regularly. I called him on Friday to confirm that we were still on for the event. I told him he had to let me know by 4 o’clock so I could make other arrangements since I hadn’t heard from him. Apparently, he became upset with that and called me the next morning (the day of the event) to tell me he was sick. By this time, I had already asked my friend to find someone else to go with me, which she did.
I was upset and I was so convinced I wouldn’t have anything else to do with him after that. I stopped talking to him for awhile and one morning he called me to apologize to tell me some sob story that I can’t even remember well enough to repeat.
I forgave him.
We eventually drew apart, because he would always make promises that he couldn’t keep. He would make plans and he never followed through with them. I knew I deserved better and understood very well that under any other circumstances I wouldn’t take that mess.
o I blocked his number. I realized that he hadn’t changed. He was still undependable and I was wasting my time and heart with him. I needed to cut my losses and move on.
There was no way I was going to end up like one of those women who wait years for a man. I deserved better and I made the decision, that day that I was going to put me first and only date available men.
There’s only so much a woman can take and I hope you realize you’re worth more than that.
Here are signs that the relationship is over.
- His words don’t match up with his actions. He can promise the world, but how much of it have you seen?
- He’s inconsistent. If he plans dates with you only to break them soon thereafter, he has too much going on and you need to move on.
- He hasn’t made a commitment. If you’ve been dating for months and still don’t know where you stand with him, then it’s safe to say he’s not interested in making a commitment with you.
- He’s abusive. Enough said. If he is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive to you then get the heck out now.
- He abuses drugs or alcohol. Find him help and then find the exit. He can never love you as much as his addition until he gets help, but in the meantime save yourself.
- He is financially irresponsible. If he spends all of his money or doesn’t even have a job, move on. You can do bad by yourself and don’t need the added dead weight.
- He’s a cheater. Not only is he not faithful, but he’s putting your sexual health at risk. You deserve to be someone’s one and only.
- You’re not happy. The fact that you’re asking yourself if you should leave this person means you’re not happy and should probably end the relationship.
Tell me ladies have you ever spent too much time with a man who was a hopeless case? If so, sound off in the comments.