Have you ever dated a man and after a few months of pure bliss, he just up and disappeared? I mean he was here one minute and POOF gone the next? Well it’s happened to the best of us and though as women we are always looking for the answer of why, most of the time the writing was already written on the wall.
Having been dumped by a man I thought I would one day marry, I can tell you from a female perspective why some men get up and leave – or just up and disappear. Run like a little boy…you get the drift.
First of all, though it may have come as a shock to your system, the signs were already there. Just like a runner gets ready to set then go, your man had his tennis shoes already on. Either you ignored them or you didn’t know the signs when you saw them. Once a man starts becoming distant or starts fights for little to no reason, these are some of the signs that they are about to run. Most men prefer to just cut things off abruptly because they hate confrontation or they don’t know what to say. Either way, he wants to end the relationship and he’s not mature enough to talk to you about it.
Though knowing why he left won’t help you find closure, it will help you to understand that you’re better off without him and that if he stayed, he would of left eventually. Below are a few of the reasons men disappear without a trace.
1. Another woman. This is usually the main reason why your man has gotten up and left. He has either met someone new or he was dating the two of you at the same time, because most men won’t get out of one relationship without having another one to get into. It doesn’t matter, because evidently he chose her. He chose to end the relationship with you to be with her. He may have disappeared to avoid telling you the truth or he may just want to see how things work with this other woman, leaving the door open back to you. Don’t leave this door open for him.
2. He lost interest. Keeping a man’s interest takes a lot of work. Though the health of a relationship shouldn’t square solely on a woman’s shoulder, she can pull her weight. According to eHarmony, the woman can help to set the tone of the relationship. If the man doesn’t feel as if there’s enough excitement in the relationship, he thinks he may be doomed if he stays. Do some self-reflection and see if you changed throughout the relationship. Did you become too comfortable? If so, just be aware of this for the next relationship and go back to what made him fall for you in the first place.
3. Something about you turned him off. He no longer sees a relationship with you viable. Maybe you want kids and he doesn’t. Maybe he didn’t like the way you made the spaghetti with ground turkey instead of ground beef. It could be practically anything. Maybe he’ll tell you, maybe he don’t even know himself. Doesn’t matter. You deserve to be someone who is turned on by all of you.
4. He’s afraid of commitment – with you. He doesn’t feel your relationship is going in the right direction. He’s sizing up his future and if he can picture you in it. If he doesn’t see a future with you, he’s planning his escape. It’s important to understand that he doesn’t just fear commitment, he fears commitment with you. Knowing this helps to explain why women are shocked and hurt when their man ends a relationship with them and then marries the next woman he dates.
Want to know more about why he disappeared from your life without a trace, make sure to order this book.