If you’re anything like me, you’re a daydreamer. You dream that Prince Charming will come sweep you off your feet and the both of you will ride off into the sunset. You believe in true love and you believe that if you just love someone just enough, your relationship is destined to last forever.
Well if you’re smart, you know that never happens. There is no such thing as a Prince Charming and as much as we try to find the “Perfect One”, he doesn’t exist. Just like we have faults, so will the men we meet and fall in love with.
Being in a relationship is hard work. Both sides have to put forth a lot of effort to make the relationship work. When the scales are unbalanced, the relationship will not work. Sometimes we realize this right away and sometimes we fight to hold onto a relationship that is not ever going to work.
If you are in a relationship or situationship that is not working for you, then you must make the decision to fix it or leave it. Most relationships can be fixed, but a lot of them can’t. Women waste time with a man who will never meet them at the end of the aisle or will never commit to monogamy with them. Why? I don’t know. Maybe we’re lonely. Maybe we think we love this person so much that we will die inside if we let him go. Or maybe we’re scared of venturing back into the dating scene because we’re in our thirties and no closer to the engagement ring as we were a year ago.
I do know, however, that no matter what our heart tells us, we must listen to the sensibilities of our head and move on. We owe it to ourselves to love ourselves enough to let him go.
So, when should you let him go?
Let me start off by saying that I stayed in a relationship for six months too long because I believed this man and I would soon share the same last name. I accepted the cancellation of dates or the excuses of why I didn’t hear from him days on end. I accepted it, because when we were together things were magical and I wanted to get married BAD. I knew his work situation was iffy at best and I picked up the tab when he was low on cash (which seemed like all the time). I didn’t question why he would blow my phone up some days during the day, but at night, there would be silence. I knew there was another woman, but I wanted to believe him and I wanted to believe that he wanted to be only with me and no one else. I turned a blind eye to his drinking that seemed to be excessive and embarrassing when out in public.
Then it hit me. Why in the hell am I taking this BS from this man? If he truly loved me and wanted to only be with me, he would. I knew that I expected my man to call me every day, no matter if it sounds clingy, even if to tell me he had a long day and would call me tomorrow. I expected my man to date me and make sure that I’m not alone on a Friday or Saturday night. I knew that the confident, self-assured me would not tolerate a man who did not work or have morals that did not match mine. I also knew that if I were a friend of mine, I would tell her (me) to leave him ASAP.
So, I just gave up. I knew that the type of man I envisioned him to be only lived inside of my pretty little head. He was not a man I would be proud to have as a husband and I knew my dad would see right through him if he had a conversation with him for longer than 30 minutes. I believed I was worth fighting for. I knew I deserved to be treated better than I was. So, I gave up the fantasy. I didn’t answer his calls. I didn’t call him. I no longer waited for him to call. I got out there and I lived. I dated. And I did what all women should do…I loved me.
photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/gwilmore/105562590/”>gwilmore</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>