Are you wondering why you’re still single? If so, it’s probably not the reasons your friends or family tell you. They’ll tell you things that won’t hurt your feelings and make you feel better.
Well, I’m not going to sugar coat things. I’m going to give you 5 reasons why you’re still single and what you can do to make you more desirable to men.
Anyone who has ever been to a Thanksgiving dinner with their family, has undoubtedly heard the question “Why are you still single?”.
As if you’re supposed to have an answer for that.
I mean an answer that they will believe anyhow. How do you respond when even you can’t understand why you’re still single?
Understandably, you start to dread these family get-togethers and try to avoid them at all cost. You tell mom that you have to work the next morning so you won’t be able to fly in (even when you work for yourself from home). You begin to start questioning your own singlehood and wonder if there is really something wrong with you. For real, why am I still single again?
Even though there are MANY reasons out there to explain why you’re still single, I’m only going to share my top five. These reasons may not apply to you all the time or only certain points in your life. It’s a difference from being single from a recent break-up and being alone for the last five years. Different reasons, different situations.
So in my most lovingly voice, here are the reasons I think you’re still single.
You Look a Hot Mess
Let’s be honest, if you barely comb your hair and are in sweats all day – what man is going to be attracted to that? I know women who are proud to run around in yoga pants all day, barely showering for days on end. Oh my, please leave that craziness to the soccer moms who already got a man. You’re still single, not because you’re unattractive, but because of the lack of effort and attention on your part. If you don’t feel good about yourself, say because let’s say you gained a few pounds – it will be reflected in the way you carry yourself. No man wants a woman who doesn’t at least try to take care of herself.
If you think this might be your issue, you’re going to have to put in a little extra work. Do your hair, wear a little makeup, eat better, wear figure-flattering clothes, hell, smile more. Do something that will not only make you more attractive but will also make you feel attractive too.
You Have Low Self-Esteem
If you are moping around because you don’t have a man, chances are you’re a male repellent. Look, no one wants to be with Debbie Downer (except for the men who are only looking to use and abuse you).
If you don’t feel good about yourself or you feel as if you don’t deserve anything good in your life, you won’t be receptive to it when it hits you dead in the face. I have a friend who always says that men don’t find her attractive. Well…if she thinks that then, of course, no one will come up to her. If every time a man makes eye contact and smiles at her, she looks away, he’s going to think she’s uninterested.
Also, people believe what you put out into the world about yourself. If you think you’re not worthy of love, neither will they. What will end up happening is that you will either repel the good men or attract the shady characters you don’t want anywhere near you.
Get yourself some counseling. There’s no need to bring all of your drama and craziness into a relationship with a new man.
You Can’t Keep a Man
Piggy-backing off of #2, if you bring too much baggage into your relationships, no good man will stay around for it. So what, your last boyfriend cheated on you? It doesn’t mean this one will, so stop accusing him of cheating each time he walks out the door.
Do you treat your men like little boys, trying to change every little thing about them? No one likes to be nagged to. That’s what mothers are for (and trust me, no one wants to bang their momma).
If you’re someone who has never seen or been in healthy romantic relationships, then it will be hard for you to have them yourself – especially without counseling and a little work. If you have unresolved daddy issues, you’re going to undoubtedly bring them into every relationship you’re in. No man wants to be compared to your dad (or fill that void in your life).
Again, seek counseling. If you don’t, you’re going to keep repeating an unfortunate cycle and you will be forever single.
You Just haven’t Met the Right One
Maybe you’re still single because you are tired of all of the deadbeats you have come across over the last few years. If you’ve dated cheater after cheater, it’s time to sit back and reflect. Ask yourself, “Why do I keep dating the wrong type of men”? There’s something about you that are attracting the wrong type of men. If you think you can fix a man, you’ll probably run into a lot of broken men. Or maybe you think you’re not good enough (see #2 above) and believe you deserve to be with a man who cheats.
If you have a hard time finding men who you are compatible with, then just be patient. There’s no need rushing into a relationship with someone just because you’re lonely. You’ll have a bigger headache than when you started.
Waiting for a good man to come around is nothing to be ashamed about. You should actually be cautious of the men you allow into your life and into your heart.
You Enjoy Being Single
News flash people – Not every woman who is single is unhappy and depressed. If you’re like many of us, there comes a time where you have been jaded by so many Mr. Wrongs, that it’s time to spend a little time with yourself. You begin to realize that, yes it’s nice to have someone to cuddle up to and have sex with, but you’d rather have some alone time for awhile.
When you’re single you can lay around the house in your sweats, watch all the chick flicks you want, all the while digging into a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. You don’t have to stress yourself about shaving or keeping your bikini wax appointment (because contrary to what men think – NO ONE enjoys that shit). You can go hang out with friends and not have to worry about someone texting you to see how long you’re going to be or questioning you about where you at or who you’re with. Also, as long as you have extra batteries around, you’re all good.
You don’t need a man to complete you – you’re already complete.
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