I have women ask me the following question ALOT…
“What does it mean when he doesn’t call?”
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I’m baffled because often this question is asked by highly educated women who in my opinion, seem to have their sh** together. These are women who often think highly of themselves and take a no-nonsense approach to dating.
If vanilla ice cream is your favorite, you’re not going to order chocolate right? If you had a bad experience at a restaurant, you probably won’t go back there. Am I correct? Or if you hate action movies, it’s a safe bet that you won’t see Captain America anytime soon.
So why would a man stop calling someone they have been dating.
Yes, you guessed it – he wanted to.
When it comes to why men act and behave the way they do, women’s logic tends to go right out the door. We were given this thing called free will and we tend not to do things we don’t like to do.
Men are simple creatures. Women are the ones who turn what men say and do into a pop quiz.
So when a woman asks me to get my crystal ball out and guess why her boyfriend stopped calling, I tell her the truth…
He’s not interested.
That’s it and yes the truth may sting a bit. But, when he doesn’t call, especially in the dating phase, you can be 100% certain he’s not interested.
So when I tell women this, they can’t seem to understand how a man would just stop calling them. In fact, they look at me like I have two heads. They want to dissect the reasoning for why their phone is not ringing off of the hook.
One of my friends was upset that she hadn’t heard from her boyfriend in over a week. He didn’t return her calls or her text messages and when she finally got a hold of him, he gave her the excuse that he had been very busy.
First of all, if he’s THAT busy, you definitely need to move on. Hell, all of us are busy. But no one is working 24 hours a day. Are you telling me he couldn’t pick up the phone and chat for 5 minutes?If they don’t have the time to date you now, they sure as hell won’t have time to work on your relationship later.
Look, if they don’t have the time to date you now, they sure as hell won’t have time to work on your relationship later.
And you deserve better.
Some women are confused because sometimes the guy will stop calling out of the blue abruptly. She thought they were having a great time, but he must not have been that interested. Or maybe over a few weeks he started to withdraw and distance himself, so instead of talking on the phone every night, you would hear from him every other night, then down to one night a week.
I’ve had friends who out of impatience end up calling the man to see why he hasn’t called. I’ve thought about it a few times myself when I dated this one guy but thank goodness common sense knocked that phone out my hand every time. Do you know how crazy it is to do that? If someone else did it, you would call them crazy. So why would you do it?
Think about it. Even if he answers the phone, he probably won’t give you a real answer to why he hasn’t called. He will probably give some dumb ass excuse like…
“Oh, I was going to call, but I’ve been busy”.
“I’ve been sick and just started feeling better”.
“I’ve been out of town”.
Ladies, all of these excuses are just lies.
Lies I tell ya!
Maybe he has been busy, but why didn’t he call and text you to say that?
Maybe he was sick. But, all of the men I know act like babies when they’re sick. If their momma’s not taking care of them, you better bet your bottom dollar someone else is.
So, what do you do when he doesn’t call? Should you give up on him and chuck it up as a lost? Or should you give him the benefit of the doubt?
Let’s say he was out of town. Unless he was in some remote area without a cell tower in a 50-mile radius, he could have picked up the phone. He was probably out of town with another woman (ouch I know).
So if a man hasn’t called you, stop waiting around by the phone and move on with your life. He’s not interested in you anymore.
There are only a few excuses to accept from a man who doesn’t call…
1. He’s in a coma in a hospital somewhere. Just being in the hospital doesn’t cut it, each room has a phone.
2. He’s locked up. Take this time to reflect if you even want to be involved with a criminal.
3. He’s dead. Say your goodbyes at his funeral and move on.
No other excuses matter.
But if you’re like most women who want to know the WHY behind some of men actions, I’m going to tell you.
When he doesn’t call, it simply means…
1. He’s not interested. He doesn’t want a big scene or doesn’t feel like your relationship is valid enough to deserve an excuse. Something about you or your relationship turned him off and he doesn’t see a future with you.
If this is the case. Move on. He’s not worth it.
2. He’s with someone else. Some men may stop talking to you without telling you it’s over, just in case it doesn’t work out with this woman. He feels by not calling and providing closure, he has left a door open for him to return.
Trust me when I say this…if he’s not calling you, he’s calling someone else. Move on and promise me you won’t let him back in.
3. You have no place in his life right now. A man who is truly interested in a woman will make every effort to be in her life. He will call, he will visit, he will do whatever it takes to let you know he wants you. No man who’s really interested in a woman will allow another man time and space to move in.
Remember men like to pursue and if he’s not in full pursuit, he’s not interested.
4. He has a drug, alcohol, gambling or criminal problem. If so, thank the good Lord you were given a way out.
Enough said, move on.
You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. You’re beautiful, smart, and wonderful all over. If he doesn’t want to hear your voice, see your face or touch you for a long period of time – girl he’s not the one for you.
Why do you feel he hasn’t called? Sound off in the comments, I would love to hear from you.
Don’t just take my word for it.
1. Read one of my favorite books, He’s Just Not That In To You. (affiliate link)
3. Listen to Evan as to men stop calling and disappear. (affiliate link)
And as always, sharing is caring, so share this post with a woman who needs it.